..hectic schedule..only second week of skol and second time calling home, my mum, and my dad, recognised my letih voice..these past few days drained my energy, physically and mentally..but, there's nothing to complain about..after all, responsibility exceeds time..as always, my parents adviced me to work harder on my studies..sure thing, i wanna stop fooling around..

..but there's gloomy clouds around my tickling mind, trying to distinguish these two words, wanting and doing..two completely different stuff, bcos there are bumps ahead and tricks waiting..based on experience, be it mine or others, lets state the obvious

..when i wanted to stop eating asam years ago, my frens were like eating it all the time, in front of me..

..when i wanna stop listening to my fav song, it was everywhere, even when there was no radio around..

..when i wanna go straight home, the closing-down sale seems very2 near to the atm machine..

..when i wanna buy text book, i wonder why it looks so heavy n bulky, n i'm very2 dizzzzzy..

..when i wanna chat minimumly, suddenly the mssg boxes pop up like hot popcorns..

..when i wanna make a gap, the other side is greener n nearer than ever..

..when i wanna ppl to correct me when i'm wrong, everything is wrong..

..when i wanna be strong, my body hurts..

..when i wanna forget, it begs to forgive..

..and when i've made a promise, it's dat fragile thing..

and then i wonder, are circumstances to be blamed?

maybe sometimes we are bz correcting and blaming others..but forget to take a deep breath and check ourselves..

we wanna improve ourselves..we wanna things to go our way..and we start judging watever near us, forgetting dat wat's nearer to us is dat image in the mirror..

dats y..wanting and doing is two different thing..like ketam's mum who wants anak2 nye jln straight..why do you think the anak2 still jln senget?

or maybe, just maybe, we dont really want watever we said we wanna do?

left the rest to The All-Knowing

THE EXAM

it ended about a month ago..i hav no time to ponder about it bcs i'm bz with the Games..all i know, i've done my best and i left the rest to The All-Knowing

THE GAMES

it went smoothly..lacking sleep n rest for days..all hard work pays..though i didnt enjoy the Games 100%ly, i learnt a lot from it..trying to look at it in different perspective, it is not merely a game..

u saw the struggle to win, the determination in every eye, the perseverance dat never give in, the sweat dat never leave the shirt dry..u heard the cheer dat boosted the strained muscles, the voices dat echoed their own fav team..u felt the heat between teams, the sweet encouragement of your teammates or even the unwanted boooo from the foe..

and u saw ppl with diff character..those who hav guts to date when it is wrong, those who flirt when it is also wrong, those who forgot her/his solat when they know to ignore it is also wrong..it's not us to judge, but left the rest to The All-Knowing

THE TRIP

life take turns in a funny way sometimes..i prepared myself for a long trip, but i ended spending most of my time at the last place i wanna be at that moment..never mind..i never know wats the best for me..we planned and He planned, and He is the best planner..

the decision i made to stay and let my best fren continued the journey by herself is the hardest yet..but i never regret..as the only reason we should seek, lies in His blessing..

the memories i hold close to my heart, sometimes will bring tears to the eyes and ruin my best fortress, but if dats wat i hav to face, i'm happily struggling it..

the lesson i learnt over there worth wayyy more than the flight ticket's price..and the responsible i bear, weight heavier than anything else..but we are tested based on our ability as He never burden us with anything we cant carry..the trip gave me a lot, and i will work hard, and left the rest to The All-Knowing

THE HOMECOMING

i'm happy to be home..it's time for another semester..i dont think it would be any different than previous..but with all the fond memories and fragile hopes, i look at life in a wider aspect..

i dont stand alone in this wide world..thus my grades dont depend on me myself..help myself and help others..but if i dont help myself, i dont help others..wat goes around comes around..care for others, then they will care for you..ignore others, then they will ignore you..

even when we care for others but they ignore us, we continue to care, bcos we left the rest to The All-Knowing

'frenship is the hardest thing in the world to explain..it's not something u learn in skol..but if u havent learned the meaning of frenship, u really havent learned anything'

we never hav enuf time for everything..but even a moment of wordless chat is enuf to treasure our frenship..and dat smile, we keep it in our heart, as it speaks our love for each other..and dat teary eyes, dont wipe them away, as it holds our memories, happy or sad..

different place or time, together or apart, who are we to doubt watever He planned?as watever we do, we seek His blessing..bcos to Him this journey ends..

yesterdays were there to give us lesson and strength,

tomorrows are yet to know, only for those who are meant,

today is here with us, to be thankful for every single thing He gives

be strong to win this battle

be guided to take the right turns

be good to help ppl

be enlighten to shine tru others

look upon the sky

gaze up straight to the stars

u wont see me there

but u'll see His presence

watching over us

every single time, shorter than a blink of eyes

this world is too much to take,

but we seek more than wat it can offer,

my frens, walk with me, i need your hand

to walk this trudging road, to pull me out when i'm about to fall

this aint a melancholic poem to bring tears on our eyes

rather, it's a humble appreciation for my frens

just to let u know dat watever i failed to say,

it's here to convey