I have a very little memory of me riding a bicycle. Perhaps because I am not really fond of cycling or lets just put the blame on my elder brothers whom I shared the bicycle with. I didn't recall my father guided or taught me cycling. If my memory serves me well, I think my brothers did that, though maybe for a few seconds. But I do remember the blue bicycle and few scars it gave me. And I obviously went through my teenage life very much without a bicycle to carry me around. Funny thing, it never bothers me though it completely astounded people. Who on earth does not know how to cycle? Well, me??!!hahahha.. I love The Look I got from people from time to time. It is really funny though they thought the joke is on me.

I skipped few vehicle generations and here I am with a driving license and my not-so-compact car. Am I thrilled? I am not completely sure. But having something new is absolutely an overwhelming feeling. I feel content looking at my parents happy with the new car. And when I am behind the wheel, it feels good, though my driving skill is yet to convince my father. Yes, this time around I will always remember the one person who taught me how to drive. Driving maybe trivial for some people. But for me, I feel different. It feels like I am really growing up and driving my own life.

My best friend once told me that it feels good once we overcome our fear. Yes, she is completely right. I am not a risk taker and adventurous enough to jump at every chances. I always know I am always careful and have those wary eyes when I look at the world's offerings. Maybe I have trust issues or maybe it is one of those middle child syndromes. If only we have all the answers to our problems, then the world is one peaceful planet without its challenges.

In three days time, I am turning 25. I am not that old but obviously not getting younger either. And sometimes when I heard the clock ticks, I wonder how my life would end. I had some milestones to achieve when I am turning 25 but having a car is not one of them. I always thought buying certain things like car and house is what me and my husband would decide. But since the latter is yet to descent from above, I believe what I want is completely different what He has in store for me.

No matter what the future lies, we have no choice but to go on with it. But we surely have choices ample enough to pick from and made the right decision, though it may not be the best and happiest choice of all. If we are driven by fear, we are running from something, we get tired and we surrender. But if we are driven by dreams and hope, we are running towards something, we get recharge and we strive.

We run towards the sun. We see the light and forget the shadow. Yes, we run towards the sun. And this time, I am through with running, I'm driving~!

Drive
by Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty shining clear.
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer.

It's driven me before and it seems to have a vague haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there.
I'll be there.

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive,
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found.

I avoid conflict like a plague
When there’s a case, I'll make myself scarce
No point of adrenaline rush,
Because when there's a crash, I'll say 'hush'
Yes, I am not a born fighter
I cower with the first glimpse of fear
I'll get my blanket and hide somewhere in the corner
Waiting for the knight in shining armor
But it has been hundred years
And my heart can wait no longer
The room is getting darker
And I think the knight never know that I am here
I may not be a fighter
But I always know I am practical
When someone's not here to bring me to haven
I think I should just crawl to the shelter
Though fear is like a shadow behind my shoulder
As long as I cling to the promise of the sun
The brightness will blind me from the darkness
Guess my knight will have to trace my tears I left on trail
If he ever wants to say hello
I am a believer
And if He says will be, it will
The bitter is getting better
And I am further away from beaten
By God’s will, Amiin


Better man
by Robbie WIlliams

Send someone to love me; I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm in pouring rain
Give me endless summer, Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old before my time

As my soul heals the shame, I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can to be a better man

Go easy on my conscience 'cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught to take the blame
Rest assured my angels will catch my tears
Walk me out of here I'm in pain

Once you've found that lover you're homeward bound
Love is all around
I know some have fallen on stony ground
But Love is all around

There are happy times,
There are challenging times,
But you are my friend,
All the time
Be strong to face life, as I know you can
But if you need to break and cry
He listens, and He surely guides