Storm

The lightning is stabbing the pain

And the thunder amplifies the maim

And the raindrops cleanse the ache

Even when this silence is deafening

It is just a moment away from a storm coming

Let it rain

Let it drains

Let’s go insane

I just want it rains..just like now..just like today

Nothing like yesterday

Today is a perfect melancholy day

I finally set my heart to leave
And it came to me like a harsh storm
It might be a fate that will wash away like the rain
Because it was more painful than a fate shattered like glass
At the end of this walk, I let you know but you wouldn’t know

I was sick with a love fever
The meaning of these tears trickling to my dried lips- you’ll never know

Storm by Super Junior

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Telling myself..everything will be alright

And to face reality, heads on, even when it is a pure pain, even when it is back-stabbing

Weakening me, leaving me nothing but emptiness and sadness

A hollow in my heart and heavy tears in my mind

So here I am telling to my faithful diary

One day I will wonder why I am so weak

Giving in to this stupid misery

But now, I want to cry for my pathetic life

So stagnant and dry

Boulevard of broken dreams

by Greeenday

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line

That divides me somewhere in my mind

On the border line

Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines

What's f*** up and everything's alright

Check my vital signs

To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

And I'm the only one and I walk a...

how far would I go forward without looking back on the past

“...when I was little...I was out riding my brand-new blue bicycle...when I decided to see how far I could keep going...without looking back even once” 

This quote comes from an anime that I watched years back. Every time the quote came out, it always gets me thinking. Even now, it still rings in my head. The anime’s interpretation is open for discussion. I guess, only the creator knows best. But for me, though I lack the cycling experience, I always relate it to how far would I go forward without looking back on the past. Moving on, moving forwards. 

The reasons I like the quote maybe because it reminds me not to linger much on the tortured past. Or it reminds me that whatever I am doing now will be in past tense in mere seconds. Or it reminds me the past is always right behind me, looming around. Or it reminds me that the past is what mold me today. Or it questions me why should I run away from the past. Or it measures my persistence, that one thing I always lack.   

I hate it when this sentimental mode struck me. It makes me mellow. 

“You choose to give up or make an effort. There are only these two choices for humans to choose from.”

Life is a constant struggle. But as a Muslim, we know that this life of ours is already planned by Him in the most beautiful way, no matter how awful we thing it is. Because we are only human and He is The All Knowing. It is up to us to be thankful and repent for all the sins that we intentionally or unintentionally convicted. 

Every day the sun rises and sets. We have no choice but to move on. No matter what the past holds, regardless of my shattering heart, despite of my teary eyes and even with these heavy and wobbly steps of mine, every day is a new day. Another chance to improve myself, another chance to run towards my dreams, another chance to repent and another chance to find myself amidst of this crazy world. Before it is too late, before I am awaken to a different world.

“But you should go, if that’s what you need to do to get over it. You should go and cry your heart out.”

An excerpt from a song says…

You, that is like the blue sky,

Suddenly pours rain

And when my body gets wet from this rain

I’ll hide the flowing tears