Friday, October 05, 2012

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams


Telling myself..everything will be alright
And to face reality, heads on, even when it is a pure pain, even when it is back-stabbing
Weakening me, leaving me nothing but emptiness and sadness
A hollow in my heart and heavy tears in my mind
So here I am telling to my faithful diary
One day I will wonder why I am so weak
Giving in to this stupid misery
But now, I want to cry for my pathetic life
So stagnant and dry

Boulevard of broken dreams
by Greeenday

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's f*** up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

Thursday, July 26, 2012

how far would I go forward without looking back on the past


“...when I was little...I was out riding my brand-new blue bicycle...when I decided to see how far I could keep going...without looking back even once” 

This quote comes from an anime that I watched years back. Every time the quote came out, it always gets me thinking. Even now, it still rings in my head. The anime’s interpretation is open for discussion. I guess, only the creator knows best. But for me, though I lack the cycling experience, I always relate it to how far would I go forward without looking back on the past. Moving on, moving forwards. 

The reasons I like the quote maybe because it reminds me not to linger much on the tortured past. Or it reminds me that whatever I am doing now will be in past tense in mere seconds. Or it reminds me the past is always right behind me, looming around. Or it reminds me that the past is what mold me today. Or it questions me why should I run away from the past. Or it measures my persistence, that one thing I always lack.   

I hate it when this sentimental mode struck me. It makes me mellow. 

“You choose to give up or make an effort. There are only these two choices for humans to choose from.”

Life is a constant struggle. But as a Muslim, we know that this life of ours is already planned by Him in the most beautiful way, no matter how awful we thing it is. Because we are only human and He is The All Knowing. It is up to us to be thankful and repent for all the sins that we intentionally or unintentionally convicted. 

Every day the sun rises and sets. We have no choice but to move on. No matter what the past holds, regardless of my shattering heart, despite of my teary eyes and even with these heavy and wobbly steps of mine, every day is a new day. Another chance to improve myself, another chance to run towards my dreams, another chance to repent and another chance to find myself amidst of this crazy world. Before it is too late, before I am awaken to a different world.

“But you should go, if that’s what you need to do to get over it. You should go and cry your heart out.”

An excerpt from a song says…

You, that is like the blue sky,
Suddenly pours rain
And when my body gets wet from this rain
I’ll hide the flowing tears

Friday, March 30, 2012

My favorite quote of all time, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going~!

I’m smiling, what else I should do then. Crying is just blurring my eyes.

This song just made my day. Happy, moving on, step by step. Enjoying life and being positive no matter how gloomy the days are.

Oh Wa by L. Sung Min of SuJu

Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Pit-a-pat, tomorrow that is being unfold
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Together just like this alright

Though it’s clumsy
It’s fine, this is fine too oh wa oh (one, two, three, four)
Though birds of a feather flock together
Help, help each other out, dream a happy dream

The days that used to be just the same, bye bye bye
Laughter high high higher yeah
Day by day everyday is a new one
Feeling alright

Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
The laughter piercing the sky
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Through the gaps between those high buildings
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Pit-a-pat, tomorrow that is being unfold
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Together just like this alright

Don’t worry worry
Put down, put down, put it all down oh wa oh (Let’s be happy)
Don’t mind the others
Oh wa, come to me, make some noise excitedly

The cloud surrounding you, bye bye bye
That sun is high high higher yeah
It’s even warmer because we’re together
Feeling alright

Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Pit-a-pat, tomorrow that is being unfold
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Together jus like this alright

In the fast-changing world, oh
As we laugh and cry and share
No matter when, come to me

Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Come to me oh wa
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Let’s get it started yeah

Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
The laughter piercing the sky
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Through the gaps between those high buildings

Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Pit-a-pat, tomorrow that is being unfold
Oh oh oh oh oh oh wa oh oh oh oh wa
Together just like this alright

Monday, January 09, 2012

It’s just that today my office is kind of empty. Most of my colleagues are out-stationed, leaving me and a few others to face the ‘challenges’ ahead. As I listen to the music to block all the unwanted noise, this song lingers and tugs my heart. Sad, so sad. Sometimes life is just plain pathetic, and even worse, we allow ourselves to trap in this sentimental crap. But once a while, I just let the heart flutters and cries, for no reason at all or for some familiar reasons which normally masked with ignorance. Just to ensure that I am not heartless, and there is hope even when sadness is getting deeper and darkness is getting darker.

A falling star

Cover by SuJu

Yesterday a star fell

My heart fell

But a star will always just be a star

Is what everyone tells me

Even today a star is falling

My one beautiful star

If a star falls

The sky is also sad

This is only how rain falls

Your yearning came and wetted inside my heart

Even tonite you'll become the rain

And make me cry again

If i think about our beautiful past

My altruistic love might come back

My dream is disappearing, only sadness is getting deeper

My star is disappearing, only darkness is getting darker