As I walk down this road
Its long and winding path is taking its toll on me
Tired and almost beaten, the easy way out is echoing my name
My knees hurt
The long days of standing still and catching up with the fast lane are to blame
My head pounds
These calculations of life combined with its so many variables are yet to equate
My eyelids close
The troubles playing right in front are not pretty scenes to take
My ears sting
These stories they tell sound just like terrible songs on a broken record they forever play
And my heart, it was broken
But I have cemented it well to heal
Thus it hardens to ensure I am still here
Walking down this road
As if nothing has happened
I am not playing superhuman
The world still rotates and spins on its axis even if I am nowhere on the streets
But having this stubborn streak in me is sometimes is a good thing
It keeps me going

If that is not the scariest dream of all, it might as well be the cruelest joke ever. Funny how most dreams will be erased from our memories once we woke up, but some will just play itself as if it is the only button on the remote control. Yup, I had a bad dream the other day.

How powerful is a dream, really? In some culture, dreams alone shall determine if a person breathes the next day or, if he is slightly lucky, if he will be exiled from his own people, or not. I am not sure if it is still practiced in today's hi-tech world but the thought never seems impossible.

Some expert says that dream is a product of what have been occupying our mind most of the time. Maybe. But again, maybe not. Perhaps, when we are at a point when our patience is about to snap, or the issues of life are so overwhelming, the syaitan will come along and play their tunes, insisting us to dance along. Nevertheless, I refuse to let the dreams dictate my life, at least not the kind of dream one's get in the sleep, no matter how disturbing and how vivid it is in my memory.

Life is a bed of roses, literally speaking. Like roses, life can be so promisingly colorful and smells so good that we insist it never ends. And also, like roses, life has its own small but pointy thorns which can bruise us, if we are not careful enough. Yes, life is indeed a bed of roses.

There are times I wish life would be much simpler.

Dear heart, don't fail me
Dear hope, don't leave me
Dear dreams, don't discourage me
Dear love, no more thinking

You gotta be
by Des'ree

Listen as your day unfolds;
Challenge what the future holds;
Try to keep your head up to the sky;
Lovers they may cause you tears;
Go ahead release your fears;

Stand up and be counted;
Don't be ashamed to cry;

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser;
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger;
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together;
All I know, all I know love will save the day;

Herald what your mother said;
Read the books your father read;
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time;
Some may have more cash than you;
Others take a different view;

Time asks no questions, it goes on without you;
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace;
The world keeps on spinning, can't stop it if you tried to;
This time it’s danger staring you in the face;
Remember;

It is still early to talk about New Year. Be it in Islamic calendar or Gregorian calendar, the very first days of both years were just around the corner. To add to the list, the Chinese will also be celebrating their new Ox year in few weeks. Yes, we have more reasons to talk about New Year.

It is expected of us to talk about new resolution during these days, regardless we have one or a few new ones, or a slightly different version of last's. And why not? New year has always been associated with new hope, another chance of betterment and some moment of silence for self-reflection.

Looking back, there is nothing I can do to change whatever had occurred, no matter how much I want it. Sometimes, I let myself wonder to the 'what ifs' world just to entertain myself. Pathetic, yes! And to tell you the truth, eventually, at the end of my 'what ifs' imagination, I always come back to the same conclusion-Nothing better than the yesterdays' reality. Another proof of His mighty planning.

At present, I am always an optimistic person as I believe I am, though I am not sure what challenges I have at the moment. Most of the time, during my catch-up sessions with my friends, I have nothing much to tell. Obviously some of them have reached different kind of phases in their life- a girlfriend, a fiancee, a wife, a mother, a graduate, a new employee, a certified-professional-to-be etc. thus, have different excitement in their life. So, I prefer to listen to those new stories of theirs and join in the conversation every now and then. It is a good feeling to realize that how many years have passed and we have been friends for more than, or almost, a decade. And I believe I don't want it to stop any time soon, and perhaps ever, no matter if nothing-much-to-tell stories of mine are the only version I have.

How about the future? Nobody can predict what will and will not happen and I am no exception. Nevertheless, I am an optimist as I believe I am. And though I never know what in store with every eye blink, or shorter, I will look everyday, and maybe every second, as another new hope, another chance of betterment and some moment of silence for self-reflection. No, I will not wait for the New Year to knock on my door to do those.

Owh, is that my New Year resolution?!

You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.

There is no life no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.