There has been moment in life when we hit rock bottom..Suffocated in the loud silence and drowned in sea of possibilities..We live with decisions that we made albeit our reluctance to admit them when things go the opposite ways of our plan..

There also has been time when we failed people who matter to us..Struggled to rise to the occasions and jaded to climb up the raised bar..we wonder if we really the best person to do those things or we were here because others refused to do them anyway..

There has been instance when our ticking clock suddenly stopped while others moved so fast, they are almost invisible..invincible..while we are the last in the rat race and the later birds that have no worms..Maybe somewhere, somehow, something needs repairing..

There has been occasions when we are stuck in a puzzling maze...one way in, one way out but so many confusing ways with limited strike of luck..re-routed to square one every time we met that endless dead ends..

We want to blame this concrete jungle for its lack of oxygen for us to breathe
We want to shout at people to stop pushing us over the limit
We want to hang on to others to stop leaving us wandering
We want to burn the walls that are blocking our sole exit
We want to rage and break
We want to torch the white flag but dont want to fight anymore

We dont demand much
We just want to be strong enough to cry
And strong enough to survive


it's my life
by Bon Jovi

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
It's my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, hell, don't back down

This life is nothing but a constant battle. Each day is a continuous struggle and we have no choice but to live life for the moment.

I am not an exception. Through challenges in life, I hope I grow up and learnt my lesson well, without repeating the same mistake. Though it is almost impossible, and frustration claims me whenever guilt overwhelms me, I cannot help but feel hurt by my own lack of will.

This life of mine, I pray to Him for guidance. Though I am not the best of His servant, I know there is no better guidance than from Him. Though there are moments when I wish I could disappear for a moment and fly high, it is never coming true. Running from responsibility is a complete cowardice and I hope I will never do that. Everyday things get harder and when an empty house greets me, I wonder what would the end await me?

Broken heart is bad enough, but broken spirit is worse. This life is nothing but a constant battle and I cannot help but wonder if I am noble enough to call myself a fighter.

Every night you cry yourself to sleep

Thinking 'Why does this happen to me?'

Why does every moment have to be so hard?

Hard to believe that….

It's not over tonight

Just give me one more chance to make it right

I may not make it through the night

I wont go home without you

I have a very little memory of me riding a bicycle. Perhaps because I am not really fond of cycling or lets just put the blame on my elder brothers whom I shared the bicycle with. I didn't recall my father guided or taught me cycling. If my memory serves me well, I think my brothers did that, though maybe for a few seconds. But I do remember the blue bicycle and few scars it gave me. And I obviously went through my teenage life very much without a bicycle to carry me around. Funny thing, it never bothers me though it completely astounded people. Who on earth does not know how to cycle? Well, me??!!hahahha.. I love The Look I got from people from time to time. It is really funny though they thought the joke is on me.

I skipped few vehicle generations and here I am with a driving license and my not-so-compact car. Am I thrilled? I am not completely sure. But having something new is absolutely an overwhelming feeling. I feel content looking at my parents happy with the new car. And when I am behind the wheel, it feels good, though my driving skill is yet to convince my father. Yes, this time around I will always remember the one person who taught me how to drive. Driving maybe trivial for some people. But for me, I feel different. It feels like I am really growing up and driving my own life.

My best friend once told me that it feels good once we overcome our fear. Yes, she is completely right. I am not a risk taker and adventurous enough to jump at every chances. I always know I am always careful and have those wary eyes when I look at the world's offerings. Maybe I have trust issues or maybe it is one of those middle child syndromes. If only we have all the answers to our problems, then the world is one peaceful planet without its challenges.

In three days time, I am turning 25. I am not that old but obviously not getting younger either. And sometimes when I heard the clock ticks, I wonder how my life would end. I had some milestones to achieve when I am turning 25 but having a car is not one of them. I always thought buying certain things like car and house is what me and my husband would decide. But since the latter is yet to descent from above, I believe what I want is completely different what He has in store for me.

No matter what the future lies, we have no choice but to go on with it. But we surely have choices ample enough to pick from and made the right decision, though it may not be the best and happiest choice of all. If we are driven by fear, we are running from something, we get tired and we surrender. But if we are driven by dreams and hope, we are running towards something, we get recharge and we strive.

We run towards the sun. We see the light and forget the shadow. Yes, we run towards the sun. And this time, I am through with running, I'm driving~!

Drive
by Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty shining clear.
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer.

It's driven me before and it seems to have a vague haunting mass appeal.
But lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there.
I'll be there.

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive,
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?

It's driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself, my light is found.